May The Fourth Be With You

What a week here at Casa Jones. In my last entry I was waxing poetic about my hopes for a blissfully domestic summer. A few hours later I found out that the baby was coming....that day!

I went to a scheduled appointment with Dr. Stern and had my final ultrasound. Andy met me there. An ultrasound at 39.5 weeks is funny, you can't see much because the baby is so big. In our case that would prove to be even more true. Bobbi, the sonographer, kept measuring and measuring. She was hesitant to tell us the size of the baby, she kept throwing out high and low measurements, trying to get a good average. Finally she broke the news.... he was at least 10.5 lbs. That meant C-Section tomorrow! One more measurement and she told us that she was sorry, he was honestly closer to 11lbs. Wow. 3 weeks ago she said he was 7lbs 7oz. Was that possible?? These things are educated guesses. One was clearly wrong. Armed with the original plan, I sent Andy home. Dr. Stern wasn't in - he was doing a C-Section. I was going to have a quick exam from another doctor and we would proceed to setup delivery for the following day. I was thinking about how we would spend our last evening Before The Baby and wondering if I would sleep at all.

Kathy - my favorite nurse at Adams Patterson, came and got me, weighed me. I had gained 12lbs since the previous Monday. WHAT? How is that possible? I didn't do anything different! How is that fair? Blood pressure time. High. I don't remember the exact numbers but it was somewhere around 150/100. Not good. Still, I thought, we're delivering tomorrow, not a huge deal. Dr. Stern comes in - he made it! He tells me that there is +2 protein in my urine and between that, the swelling (12lbs!), the blood pressure and the size of the baby that we're doing it today. Today? I was ok with tomorrow, but TODAY? I didn't make the bed. I had dirty dishes in the sink. I hadn't shaved my legs. Andy was on his way back to work. Ok, new plan. I called Andy. "TODAY?! WHAT? NOW? WHAT??? TODAY???" He was so cute. SO cute. He panicked. I don't blame him, everything was on an even keel when he left the doctor's office. He didn't see the blood pressure, the weight gain, etc. I got off the phone with him and sent him a text of what I needed from the house. I figured if he had a text he could refer to it and not worry about remembering things. Best laid plans, he called shortly afterwards asking what all I needed to go into the bags. Just in case, I had thrown some daily stuff in the bags that morning - glasses, contact stuff, makeup. The bags were fully loaded. All I needed was those bags and my phone charger.

I started calls and texts. Family - everyone so excited! A million questions. Sent texts to friends. "Today is the day! 10lb+ baby and we're going in!" At this point it was getting close to 3pm. They sent me across the building to Labor and Delivery. My phone was going crazy. Calls, texts, calls, messages. The only person I wanted was Andy, he was on his way. I went into a triage room and things started happening fast. Dr. Stern had told me that Anesthesia was going to "drive this boat". Nurses flying around me, working fast. Hooking me up to a blood pressure cuff and monitoring belts for the baby's heart rate and my contractions, which were so mild they don't even really count. A million questions. Michelle, the Anesthesiologist came in and told me the risks of the Spinal block they were going to administer. I could have lived without that! They put in an IV, just fluids. Going to the bathroom was no longer easy. It was now 343pm. Still no Andy, phone still going crazy. They told me the plan was for a 4pm surgery. 4pm?? This was all starting to feel like an emergency and it hadn't started out that way. I wasn't prepared for 4pm! It was determined that since I had eaten lunch at noon we would have to wait until 8pm to start surgery. Throughout the day people kept referring to my "big lunch" which delayed surgery. For the record, I did not have a "BIG lunch" I just had a regular sized lunch - some leftover casserole!

After what seemed like hours, but in reality was only one hour, Andy came in. The nurses had been asking and asking, "Your husband is on his way?" "Where is your husband?" He had to get home from work, get the bags and change clothes and get to the hospital. Then he had to get to my car, get the pillows out and get to the other side of the hospital. I told him he would be the guy running in with his hair on fire! And there he was! Carrying bags and pillows and looking wild. He looked ready to go camping with all he was carrying. I told him to calm down, we had to wait until 8, that relaxed him a bit. His dad came and hung out for a while. We watched TV, talked on the phone. Tried not to think about things. I kept asking him if he was nervous. He kept saying no, but I knew he was lying. I was slowly starting to lose it. The risks kept swirling. So much to go wrong. Blood pressure was completely stabilized and things were starting to happen again around 7pm. Talk of a catheter. I had forgotten about that - awesome. Some antacid to take. Getting shaved - this was probably the first of one of many, many small humiliations I've endured over the last few weeks. Andy's family came in for a last minute visit and then it was time to put on my cap and go. Andy was going to change after I left. Leaving him, even though I knew it was only for a few minutes, just amped up the fear to 11.

Headed down the hallway and into the operating room. It was bigger than they seem on TV. There were 5 or 6 nurses in there busily doing things. No one looked nervous or like there was an emergency. They all looked fairly normal. Where was Andy? I wonder why they separate people at this point. I remember worrying that maybe someone would forget to tell him where or when to come to the OR. Time for the Spinal. I wasn't really sure what this was all about, all I really knew about was an epidural. Nurse holds my shoulders as I lean forward. Stay still. This will sting a little bit - not bad. They were right, not bad. Shooting anesthesia feeling down below, like novacaine. STAY STILL. Oops. Have to stay still no matter what happens. Luckily there were no contractions.

I got to lay down and they were doing this and that to me, I don't even know. They gave me an oxygen mask - I was surprised by this. I didn't even realize how hard it was to breath without it. The anxiety was pretty bad. I wonder what my blood pressure was at this point. Can't feel much below the waist at this point. Can't move my legs. I don't like this. I'm trying desperately to move them. Nothing. Not a good feeling. They're going to put a catheter in now, great. No way I don't feel THIS! I see two heads busily working down below. They move away. Can I ask a question? Sure. Did you put the catheter in yet? Sure did! Wow, y'all are good! Then Andy shows up! Hello! I bet the oxygen freaked him out. He had on a gown and a hat and mask. He looked silly. It was about 815 at this point. Thing are happening, a sheet goes up, my arms are stretched out. Andy is sitting next to me but looking around. I tell him to touch me, touch my arm. I really can't move. I can feel people touching me, moving things, moving me. The best way I can describe it is like a roller coaster. Not the stomach dropping part but the way your body gets jostled around. I felt like I was being pushed and pulled. No pain at all, just movement and touch. Andy is up and down. I am watching his eyes intently looking for signs that I am circling the drain. At one point he says, "Whoa!" in a not very good way. "Whoa? What is whoa? What's going on?" I hear the doctor say that they broke the amniotic sac, that's what all the fluid was. Andy is white. This has to be over soon. And then....and then the best noise I have ever heard. A small, powerful, "Waah, waah, waah, waah". 8:32pm. That's it? That was so fast!!! All of a sudden I've changed my mind about the speed. I start to cry. Andy leaves me high and dry. I hear him saying, "Hi Luke, Hi Luke, Hey Buddy!" I can hear the happiness in his voice. All I have is what I can hear at this point, I can't see anyone. Andy sounds great, everyone sounds great. I'm still being jostled. I'm still crying. A nurse asks me if I heard how much he weighed. No. 11lbs 1 oz. WHOA. A big ol' baby!!! I heard someone say, "I'm sorry to tell you this Mom, but this baby looks just like Dad." Fine with me! They're talking about his hair now, my baby has hair!!

After what seems like an eternity, Andy brings this big, wet baby with goopy eyes over to me. He is stunning. Andy's eyes are lit up like fireworks. Our baby. We have waited so long for you! I bust my arm out of something to touch his face, I don't care. He has his father's mouth, I was hoping for that. He DOES look like Andy. They doctor and nurses are still putting humpty dumpty back together down there. Someone is taking our pictures. All of a sudden, I'm so tired. Can't keep my eyes open tired. They tell me to sleep if I need to but no way. I won't miss this. Andy is taking pictures and cell phone pictures and sending everyone pictures. He sends me a picture and I tell him to call my family. The nurse tells us to wait until they finish the surgery. Hehe. They take our big baby and start doing whatever baby things they need to do. They go up to the nursery with him and Andy goes with him. Now I just wait. Before long I'm in a recovery room and then more waiting. At least I have my phone. I am pretty out of it, I have no idea who I talked to. After about an hour Andy comes back in and I get to go upstairs. It's really pretty hazy at this point. I remember getting off the elevator and seeing Graham, Bianca, Wendy and the littlest Graham looking in at the nursery. It was so great to see friendly faces!
We got into our room and there were flowers and balloons in there from Wendy and Danielle. Michelle, Danielle, Woody and Josh showed up. I was very out of it, I don't really remember what all we talked about. The only thing I knew was that I had only had about 2 minutes with my son and it had been almost 2 hours since he was born. I was starting to get upset and so was Andy. He went and asked for him a couple of times and finally, FINALLY they brought him in.
I'd like to say that it was great sharing that moment with such good friends but the truth is that for me, there was no one else in the room besides Luke and I. I remember saying that he looked like me, I wasn't totally off base, I still think around the eyes he does look a bit like me. Not as much as he looks like his Dad, but just a little bit. He's wearing a hat, which Andy takes off for me to see this full head of light brown hair - that's from Mom! He's pink and sleepy and warm and I feel like I have waited my entire life for this moment.

Right here, right now for just a brief minute there is nothing to be afraid of.